Your abortion was supposed to end your crisis—get things back
to normal.
It left you feeling empty instead and although the memories
of your abortion may be
difficult to face, we can help you recover from
this painful experience.
There is hope.
You may be surprised to know that you are not alone in your feelings.
We know that many women feel
sadness ° guilt ° anger
regret
° sorrow ° depression ° anxiety
crazy ° lost ° empty
after their abortion—it is not unnatural to feel this way.
You are not alone.
We can Help you with the emotional Pain you're
feeling.
Together we can help you recover and begin to start over
again.
We believe you can be Healed.
It TAKES COURAGE to CALL FOR HELP
PLEASE
DO.
Here's a List of Caring Places
that
Can Help
| I have been freed to grieve, and crying with a purpose is a lot better than crying without one.  I appreciate that they confronted me with this basic piece of advice, "It's going to hurt, but it will be worth it." The greatest thing that I learned was that, to deny the abortion (by that I mean not deal with it), was to deny the responsibility that I hold now, which is to commit my child into God's hands. I hadn't even begun to heal until I came to the CPC. I would recommend this group to every woman who has had an abortion; whether she feels it has affected her life or not. I had no idea, before entering the group, how much my life had been impacted by my decision (13 1/2 years ago) to have an abortion. I knew there were some problems because of it, but I wasn't aware of others. Attending the group has given me a safe place to face, head on, what I did. Somehow, in the process of accepting that I made a terrible choice, acknowledging my child, and asking for and receiving forgiveness, I've experienced a freedom I hadn't known before. Some bond I wasn't aware of has gone. I'm freer to enjoy my life now. I don't need to pretend the abortion didn't happen. Coming here has somehow given me back the child I destroyed. I can go on acknowledging her (having given her to God) and experience more peace living now. Thank you! The PACE group is a very special and needed group. A place where I could come and share my story with understanding and compassionate people. There is no judgement or blame put on you, there is just a warm loving invitation for you to find peace. I am very thankful that there was a group like this to come to. I didn't know until the group was over how much I needed it. I thought after twenty years I had dealt with my abortion. There is something special that you get out of coming to this group, that you just can't get on your own. They say 'Time heals all wounds.' That isn't true. I found peace and healing by coming to this group, and I will always be thankful that I came and that it was made available to me. I can't imagine how I would have managed without the group. I'm sure that I would never have even started to recover a normal life. Through the group I've been able to face up to my feelings which are now much easier to live with. This is one of the most important groups of my life. It showed how my abortion afflicted every other aspect in my life from such choices as whom to marry, what profession to have and how many children to have. The group has given me a safe, tranquil place to go each week. The support of the facilitators and the other women has given me some hope for the future. This is one of the most important groups of my life. It showed how my abortion afflicted every other aspect in my life from such choices as whom to marry, what profession to have and how many children to have. My marriage almost dissolved because of my emotional state — and I never knew what was wrong with me. This group addressed all of that and much more. I became aware of myself as a victim but also that I could do something about it. I found out that there is no such thing as 'pro-choice' since there is 'no choice' if you have no information about anything. Everyone knows that a baby or 'fetal tissue', or whatever you want to call it, is being destroyed, but no one knows what gets destroyed inside the woman. At first this whole group thing felt weird. What could a bunch of strangers do to help me deal with having an abortion? Well, they told their stories and I told mine and I did all the homework and now, nine weeks later, I do feel different. Having an abortion is a taboo thing to talk about. It was so good to have people who weren't judgemental; who could all relate to each other. I don't feel stupid anymore because I'm not the only one. I feel that a heaviness has been lifted from a spirit that was guilty and sad. I felt like I was able to be connected to my baby for the first time and it was very healing. A mother needs to acknowledge her child as her own and with love. I was allowed and able to do this within my group. I felt the PACE group was an essential part of my path toward the spiritual, emotional, and psychological healing necessary for me to resume a healthy life after the trauma of abortion. The program is designed to be very thought and emotion provoking, and provides a safe and gentle environment for women to be able to express their deepest feelings without fear of judgement and with total support and love from the facilitators. Thank you for having me in your post abortion counselling group once again. The last time I was in a group I recall writing about the road that led me to a place where I could kill my own child and grand child. This time it was like travelling a road into a clearing in a thicket of woods. But this time a garden was growing that hadn't been attended to for awhile. There were areas that needed to be hoed and staked up. Parts that needed to be weeded, old weed seeds had sprouted up and needed to be pulled out by the roots, areas that needed watering. The PACE group has started me on my way to living again. It seems clear to me now, but I never realized that for the past seven years I was living in a shell, slowly shrivelling and dying inside. It was very difficult for me to take the first step of coming to the group (and even continuing to come every week). I couldn't see how it could help me, as I thought only a second chance to undo my abortion could help me. However, through sharing with others and getting personal feedback, I've come to an understanding of myself and am beginning to feel that I do have a right to life. In the group I was given a chance to say "hello" and "good-bye" to my baby and even though it was very painful, it somehow gave me memories to hold on to of my baby. It made him real. I've come to acknowledge the enormity of the decision I made seven years ago but I've also come to a stage of accepting that decision and letting it go. Words are inadequate to express my gratitude to PACE for giving me my life back. My experience in the PACE group revealed to me the impact my abortion nineteen years ago had on my life and my personality. As I come to experience the grief for my aborted child, I realized that I had carried this pain for nineteen years, never understood its source. I saw how all my relationships had suffered as a result. I withdrew from people immediately afterwards and have guarded this wound by never entering into close, caring relationships. In allowing myself to grieve, and sharing the grief of other women, I have experienced the crumbling of a wall in my heart — its like a heavy rock has been lifted off my chest. I find myself more at peace, more alive, less prone to be hurt by others. I had long felt alienated from other women, especially those with children, but now I am aware of a greater acceptance of my own femininity and of other women. I can also relate more to the humanity and suffering of men as well. To any woman who has had an abortion I would say, "seek counselling". Though you may think you have settled this issue, as I believed, the grief is real and needs to be faced. I have witnessed the transformation of seven other women in these eight weeks. That gives me great hope. Prior to the group, I could speak about my abortion, but it was always giving information and very matter of fact. Once I was faced with the group and realized that they all already knew this information. Panic struck, and I knew I would have to face my abortion from the feeling side. Week after week the women would share their stories and always there was something that would touch my heart. Every week I would put off telling my story; as I knew if they really knew me there would be no way they could possibly still care for me. Finally there were only two of us left and I knew the only way for me to find peace was to tell my story. The week prior to telling my story I was being tested both physically and mentally; so at every opportunity I prayed and asked others to pray for me. Finally I knew I could share my story; but how much did I dare tell. I was going to write it down but I knew that would emotionally detach me from it and then I couldn't grow from it. Finally Thursday came I felt glad, afraid, even wished I could maybe die on the way over to the centre. As I told my story I knew there was victory and that my spiritual battle was over as long I allowed the Holy Spirit to lead me. Praise God he carried me through all the pain to the peace on the other side. One assignment that really helped me get in touch with my abortion was to go shopping for my boys. The evening we had the commendation service was when I was washed with the cleansing blood of Jesus. To really be able to receive Jesus' forgiveness was wonderful and to have this done with the dignity of having Rev. Henderson officiate was a true honour. I will never forget everyone in the group and how much each one of them as helped me grow. Special thanks to Jacquie and Karen. Thank you for undertaking once again the formidable task of helping us (me) to go through this crisis of bringing out into the open what has been hidden in such darkness and confusion — for years. This is the first time I had been able to share in any kind of coherent manner some of the more painful aspects of my life and the path that eventually led to my choosing to kill my unborn child, and grandchild. I thank you for guiding me through the maze of denial, pain, isolation, self-contempt, bitterness, fear and loneliness to a new direction of acceptance and forgiveness that has been and is ever open through Christ Jesus. To God be all the glory. Talking with other understanding women about my abortion experience was very special for me. It validated my pain and made it real and not something that I had to continue hiding and denying. Saying "Hello" to the baby was the best . To finally say, "I love you" and to think of the abortion as the baby it was and is and always will be. It gave me the chance to let my love flow for this precious child of mine and to begin to grieve my loss. Forgiveness came with saying "Good-bye". The group has brought me in touch with my feelings and has helped me to love myself more in a very real sense. I feel whole again. |
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